Monday, September 8

Quote-Tastic: Whoring, Balls, & Carp



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Love Hacked by Penny Reid


“Marie,” I said, and I squeezed her hand again. “What is your least favorite part of the male anatomy?”

“Uh…what?”

“Come on.” I nudged her shoulder. “You have to have a least favorite part.”

Marie stared at me for a beat then blinked rapidly. “Really? I just pour out my heart to you and….”

“Balls,” Ashley announced unceremoniously from her place on the floor.

Elizabeth snickered.

“Oh, my lord.” Marie covered her face with her hands and shook her head.

I ignored her and leaned closer to Ashley. “I know, right? I mean, shouldn’t those things be on the inside?”

Janie’s thoughtfully distracted voice chimed in. “I feel like the rest of the male body makes a lot of sense. And then…balls.”

“Yes!”

“It makes me think maybe God is an alien or ran out of alluring parts before he got to the male reproductive system.”

“They never look nice; it’s basically impossible. You can’t dress them up, and I’ve seen a lot of balls in the ER. I’ve never seen a man’s balls and thought to myself, Now that guy has a great set of testicles.” Elizabeth added somberly.

Marie’s shoulders were shaking, I assumed with laughter or tears or both. I couldn’t be sure.

Ashley nodded and said, “If I never had to see another set of balls again, it would be too soon,” her voice completely deadpan as she picked up her cable needle.

When Marie finally peeked between her fingers at me, her eyes were wet, but most of the melancholy was absent. It had been replaced with shining bemused amusement. “You are crazy.” The words were somewhat muffled behind her hands.

I grinned at her. “I’m just trying to prove a point.”

“Which is?”

“You won’t miss everything about him.”



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“Nice.” Ashley nodded her approval. “I find it’s best to go to the market or shopping if I have to pee. It saves me from buyer’s remorse.”

“It’ll also give you a urinary tract infection,” Elizabeth mumbled.

“Yes, but those can be treated with antibiotics and cranberry juice. An empty bank account can only be treated with whoring myself out down by the industrial park.”

This was met with a few chuckles and headshakes.

“Is this a habit of yours? Whoring yourself out down by the industrial park?” Elizabeth asked.

“Not since I discovered the money-saving properties of urinary tract infections.”

“That’s too bad, because Dr. Ken Miles was asking about you yesterday.” Elizabeth and I shared a covert glance.

Nico stiffened. He was not a fan of Dr. Ken Miles because the man used to pursue Elizabeth. In fact, none of us who worked at the hospital particularly cared for Dr. Ken Miles.

Nico gave Elizabeth a sharp smile. “I’m sure he frequents the industrial park enough, dearest. If Ashley had been there, he would have found her.”



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 

“You look like carp today.” Ashley’s eyes didn’t lift from her chart as she volunteered her opinion.

“You mean crap?” I felt like crap. I was tired. My head and my heart hurt. And I was pretty sure my female reproductive system hated Alex.

“No. Carp. The fish. You’re all frowny and buggy-eyed, tired and frightened.” Her blue eyes lifted, scanned my face. “And you need to pluck your eyebrows.”

“Do carp have eyebrows?”

“They have little weird feeler mustaches, like catfish. I suspect they tie other fish to little fishy railroad tracks.”



I had to go with 3 quotes, even though they are a bit long. They show the great interactions between the women.

I have come to adore Penny Reid's Knitting in the City Series. Ever since I read the first book, Neanderthal Seek Human.  The series is about 6 friends who get together on Tuesday nights to knit (and now crochet) and each book features a different one of the friends. These are very distinct women and brings their own personality and outlook to the group dynamic.

This is Sandra's story. She is a pyschotherapist who works at the same hospital as 2 of the other members of the knitting group. When we meet Sandra, she is on her regular biweekly date, with the golf playing, polo shirt wearing, high finance type that she always seems to draw in.  She meets each of her dates at her favorite Indian restaurant so that she can order her favorite dish Butter Chicken. Each date follows a fairly set routine, ending with the man she is with crying, then thanking her and leaving her to eat in piece. This night, she is wearing a new red dress and when her date leaves in the typical fashion, Alex sits down. Alex is the younger waiter who she has seen on most of these biweekly dates for the past 2 years. He doesn't respond in the ways that Sandra is used to and peaks her interest.

This book managed to exceed the high expectations set by the previous books. The dialogue is top notch, and the relationship feel so real.  I gave this 5 stars for a fantastic read.
There are three things you need to know about Sandra Fielding: 1) She makes all her first dates cry, 2) She hasn't been kissed in over two years, and 3) She knows how to knit.

Sandra has difficulty removing her psychotherapist hat. Of her last 30 dates, 29 have ended the same way: the man sobbing uncontrollably. After one such disaster, Sandra--near desperation and maybe a little tipsy--gives in to a seemingly harmless encounter with her hot waiter, Alex. Argumentative, secretive, and hostile Alex may be the opposite of everything Sandra knows is right for her. But now, the girl who has spent all her life helping others change for the better, must find a way to cope with falling for someone who refuses to change at all.

This is a full-length, 110k word novel and is the third book in the Knitting in the City series. All books in the series can be read as a standalone.


Available at the following retailers:
Amazon     BN    Kobo     Smashwords

6 comments:

  1. I like these chicks, lols. Great quotes Judith :D

    thanks for sharing

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    1. Each book maybe about each woman's romance, but at the heart is their relationship with each other. And I can't get enough.

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  2. Bwaha they sound like quite the group and exactly the type of friends a girl needs. Other than the carp comparison. lol

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    1. I know!! That last one, I could just see in my head a catfish, twirling his moustache, standing over another fish, like a goldfish, tied down to the railroad tracking, doing his evil (of course) villain laugh. I couldn't help it, it just struck me funny.

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  3. Come to think of it, you really can't dress up the balls, right? I have to hand it to girlfriends, only they can make a point like this.

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    Replies
    1. I literally laughed out loud reading that section.

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