Quote-Tastic: One-Eyed God of Wombats

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Monster in My Closet by R.L. Naquin


Most days I stopped off at a local coffee shop and grabbed a pastry and cappuccino. Since a delicious breakfast had been forced on me, I didn’t need the pastry. Still, I needed the coffee. Coffee at home is one thing—I was grateful for the cup I’d been handed to wash down the sandwich. A venti for the office was non-negotiable, all the same.

The little coffee shop two blocks from my office was crowded, even for a Monday morning. I inhaled the heavy scent of roasted beans but the various perfumes and colognes of the customers jostled my nostrils in a hostile takeover. The woman in line in front of me was especially obnoxious. Her perfume was thick and flowery, assailing me like a child throwing a tantrum. “Look at me! Look at me!” it seemed to shriek.

I’ve always taken offense at people wearing heavy perfume. It’s as if they have no respect for boundaries. If I wanted my personal space to reek of lavender and musk, I’d dump a vat of bath salts into the tub and go for a soak. It’s rude to think everyone wants that stuffed up their noses. Whatever happened to subtlety?

I rubbed at my nose with the back of my hand, as if that might clear out some of the stench.

“It is a little much.” The voice came from behind me in line, low and secretive, as if he didn’t want anyone but me to hear him.

I was embarrassed. I had hoped no one else had caught me trying to wipe away the smell. I turned to answer and was caught off guard. In fact, I babbled like an idiot.

“You,” I said, already kicking myself for my lack of suavity. “I saw you on TV the other night.”

He looked puzzled, probably afraid I’d confused him with an actor or talk show host. “You know,” I said, trying to clarify, “on the news. Taking the grocery clerk to the ambulance. Or her body anyway.” Shut up, Zoey. Please shut up. “It was a shock. I’d just been in there talking to her the day before. I bought cheese.” Oh for the love of the one-eyed god of wombats, will you stop now?


I was intrigued for quite awhile about this book, but it wasn't until recently that I finally got a chance to read it.  Zoey is such a great character. I know it sounds coincidental, but I totally see Zooey Deschanel from New Girl, but as a red head.  They both have this goofy, fun loving, kinda sideways view of life. Zoey is a fun character in a interesting world. Watching her find out about the Hidden and discover a completely new version of her life is a real treat.

I stopped believing in monsters long ago. But I knew I wasn't imagining things when I found one in my kitchen baking muffins. I'd seen him before: lurking in my closet, scaring the crap out of my five-year-old self. Turns out that was a misunderstanding, and now Maurice needs a place to stay. How could I say no?

After all, I've always been a magnet for the emotionally needy, and not just in my work as a wedding planner. Being able to sense the feelings of others can be a major pain. Don't get me wrong, I like helping people--and non-people. But this ability has turned me into a gourmet feast for an incubus, a demon that feeds off emotional energy. Now, brides are dropping dead all over town, and my home has become a safe house for the supernatural. I must learn to focus my powers and defeat the demon before he snacks on another innocent woman and comes looking for the main course...

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